All mixed up?

If you experience a miscarriage prior to your pregnancy, the truth is you may feel both blessed and cursed; tough yet vulnerable. As I tell my close friends, I’m partly happy with a chance of dread.

If your pregnancy finds you trying to balance fear with hope and joy with grief, you’re not alone. And you’re not going nuts, experts say. ”After a loss, it’s completely natural to have mixed emotions,” says Cathi Lemmert of Share Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support. ”It’s hard to be happy and sad at the same time.” Instead of beating yourself up, try these suggestions:

Acknowledge what you’re feeling. Trying to master anxiety only leads to more nervous emotions, says therapist Kim Kluger-Bell. Confide in your partner or close friend to relieve common feelings of alienation.

Talk to others with like experiences. There are a host of online resources that can connect you to women who suffered similar loss. Check out these websites for more information, chat forums, and more:

Pregnancy after miscarriage – pamsupport.org

Share Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support – nationalshareoffice.com

Subsequent pregnancy after loss support – SPALS.com

Keep a journal. Doesn’t have to be a daily exercise. But when you feel like venting your feelings, putting the issues down on paper can provide you with a new point of view.

— Ylonda Gault Caviness